The Last Rite
Photo Prompt by Icy Sedgwick
Tears glistened in her eyes, obscuring the image before her. She swallowed the pain, trying to see the fractured light as stars instead of the truth rising to greet her.
How many times had she climbed these steps?
A lifetime of rites flashed through her mind.
Saints and sacraments. Confessions and candles.
This would be her final passage through those great doors. One last time for the woman who had taught her about love, about sacrifice, and about strength. The one who had taught her that faith conquers all.
Except this time.
No ancient rituals brought her back from the brink, or saved her from a single day of suffering.
This would be the last time she would taste the blood and the flesh. The last time she would kneel and be blessed. One more time for her.
Ashes to ashes.
Dust to dust.
Her love.
Her strength.
Her faith.
Makes me wonder what’s happening to her. Is she dying and has one last trip to church?
She’s burying her mother and her faith along with her.
Eery and cryptic, nicely done.
Losing her faith, I like that
Ahh yes, I wasn’t sure at the start whether it she was dying, or someone else, but the sense of ambiguity kinda works – loss of faith / death parallels. The photo adds to the atmosphere too.
Love the catholic anguish in this. She’s not losing her religion, she’s burying it. A great conceit, beautifully written.
I can see why you’d give up your faith if you thought that your lifetime of devotion had come to naught.
Beautifully told.
Nice. I was with you all the way. You captured a feeling that I’m sure a lot of people get and struggle with at the loss of a loved one. And, you did in such a short span. Well done!
Splendid and short. I like the combined interment of both her love and her faith.
Sounds like someone she loves is dying. Guess it made her lose faith huh?
I dug this. In looking at Icy’s prompt I didn’t get a sense of sadness. After reading your piece, now I can’t help but not.
I simply LOVE how someone can look at a photo and see it so differently. It’s increidble. I love the story this picture told you.
There’s anger in her voice, yet the prose is so serene. I love the contrast.
Seems like any faith she had was dead long before her mom. That seems like a happier ending, too, than that all-too-common silliness of losing faith because somebody died, like that never happens all the time. Really dug your alliteration in the fourth paragraph, and the callback to the sacraments in the last proper one.
I know what that feels like!
Well captured!
Ah, such a pity. Burying faith just at the time when it might be most valuable.
Loved it – an aching piece, start to finish.
A lot of emotion packed in a very short space. Also a great example of “showing” rather than “telling.”
My Friday the 13th Fictioneers piece (100 words) is at http://furiousfictions.com.
Beautifully descriptive… and mysterious – leaving much for the reader to speculate on. A good job Danni.
Great idea – I’d never considered writing about a loss of faith before but it’s an important part of life. Your choice to omit the mother’s death was a good one but you needed to hint at it a touch more if you wanted the reader to pick up on it. Brave decision to open with a cliché – ‘tears glistened’ but I’m afraid it didn’t work for me.
Good story and a great response to the prompt. Thanks for sharing.
Hey Dani,
I read it a few times to get all the details as it took me a little bit to get. It’s haunting, it has some catchy elements and as usual its wonderfully done.
Ah I wondered too what was happening to her, then I saw you reply to Larry. It was a haunting and beautiful piece of writing Danni
This carries quite an emotional punch for such a low word count.
Thank you all for the wonderful comments. Although my faith is firmly in place, I know many who have struggled through this very thing. Icy’s photo caught me in a melancholy moment and this story burst forth. I’m glad you all enjoyed it.