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Sweet Success

April 21, 2010

He hung his coat neatly in the hallway and called her name.  The lack of response didn’t concern him.  He walked to the kitchen loosening his tie and unbuttoning his cuffs along the way.  Emptying his pockets, he noticed the flashing light on the answering machine.  He pressed the button as he dropped items into the basket next to the phone.  Her voice rang out through the apartment echoing off the newly installed Italian marble.

She was gone.  No apology, no explanation, no tears.  Just gone.

The muscles in his legs gave out and he dropped to his knees.  The words exploding in his mind.

She had asked for more time, more attention, more of him, but he was building a career.   Why couldn’t she see that?  He was climbing the ladder by leaps and bounds–every expectation exceeded, every hurdle removed, every goal achieved.  This was the path to fulfillment, to happiness, to success.

But none of that mattered.  The time he had left over was useless.  The way she viewed his choices was meaningless.  He was alone with his ten-year plan, his client roster and his shiny new car.

And none of it mattered.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. April 23, 2010 5:14 AM

    “Everything I have don’t mean nothin’ to me now.” – Bob Schneider,singer/songwriter/artist

  2. April 23, 2010 3:26 PM

    Well that was depressing. I know you weren’t really looking for line crits, but you have him emptying his pockets twice.

  3. April 23, 2010 5:00 PM

    Very true…I’m always worried about putting my plans ahead of my loved ones. It’s hard not to do when you are driven toward something.

    Good piece.

  4. April 23, 2010 9:05 PM

    I’m going for the Scotch now. Thanks.

  5. April 24, 2010 11:01 AM


    Compelling read – artistic and relevant to the ever accelerating pressures to succeed in today’s world. It’s amazing how we can let pride and ego steal away the very essence of what it means to be alive in the first place.

    Hope all is well.


  6. April 24, 2010 7:40 PM

    Thanks for you comments everyone! 🙂

  7. Michelle permalink
    April 25, 2010 11:21 AM

    Ah! A lesson so many people would do well to learn – family, and those you love – are the truest measures of success.

  8. April 25, 2010 11:49 AM

    Quite succinct to be honest. I wonder how many will be thinking about thier own day to day now.

  9. DianeG permalink
    April 27, 2010 5:01 PM

    I like the italian marble detail it indicates his situation/status.

    You could turn this into a longer piece – would need more about the mssing love interest though and give her a voice too.

  10. April 30, 2010 9:13 PM

    good job,

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