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June 17, 2010

Photo Prompt by Sandy Morrison
The slap of her stilettos echoed off the concrete walls as she marched towards her Mercedes in the corner of the garage. Giving a slight snort, she attempted to clear away the scent of grease and gasoline assaulting her. She cursed her decision to meet at his office and vowed never to do it again.

The dim lights flickered above her creating a morbid ballet of shadows that danced across the oil stained cement. A shuffling behind her sent a chill down her spine. The whisper of fabric was barely audible over the buzz of the halogens. Her heart thudded in time with her heels as she hugged her Coach bag and quickened her pace. She fumbled for her keys, clutching them in a trembling hand.

The sound of her heavy breaths filled her ears and she began to doubt whether she’d heard anything at all. Approaching her car, she clicked the button on her keys. The tail lights flashed, welcoming her to safety. Relief washed through her as she reached for the car door.

The squeak of a rubber sole made her jump. A yelp escaped her lips as her keys clattered to the floor and slid beneath the car. Before she could turn, a calloused hand gripped her face, pulling her against the solid body behind her. She struggled to breath through the thick fingers covering her mouth and nose. Thrashing in his arms her heels scrambled for purchase on the slick surface.

A glint of metal flashed in the yellow light a second before a cold blade burned across her throat.

The man’s grip loosened, and she slid to the cold, hard floor. She heard something scrape across the cement, followed by the slamming of a car door. Tires squealed. An engine revved then faded, as her vision dissolved into nothing.

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27 Comments leave one →
  1. June 17, 2010 10:02 PM

    OMG!!! That could have been me. How did you do that so quick? You are brilliant.

  2. Jax permalink
    June 17, 2010 10:21 PM

    *shivers* Never parking in a big garage again.

  3. June 17, 2010 10:29 PM

    No wonder my grandma won’t go into garages by herself. All that to steal her car?

  4. June 18, 2010 12:43 AM

    An excellent build up of suspense in just 300 words. Masterful

    marc nash

  5. Pat permalink
    June 18, 2010 3:57 AM

    Whooo! That creeped me out. Scared me and made my heart beat faster just reading it. Very very nice work Danni! This one was very gripping! 🙂

  6. Kelly permalink
    June 18, 2010 7:29 AM

    Wow Danni. Creepy and scary. I hate parking garages, even in the day time. Nicely done.

  7. June 18, 2010 5:12 PM

    Thanks for increasing my fear of public parking LOL

  8. June 19, 2010 4:04 AM

    Wow! Really great detail…terrifying!

  9. June 19, 2010 4:59 AM

    I’ll be parking on the street from now on…creepy!

  10. June 19, 2010 5:58 AM

    Great suspense, great build up. Horrid but necessary end…

  11. June 19, 2010 7:51 PM

    Bad things happen amazingly quick. Her greatest fear swooped in.

  12. June 19, 2010 11:02 PM

    Nicely done. Impressive immediacy.

  13. June 19, 2010 11:48 PM

    Very visceral. Spare, stripped down to the bare bones of what happened. Well done.

  14. June 20, 2010 6:56 AM

    Ooh, very intense. I like how vividly the setting is described through the senses. Good stuff again!

  15. June 20, 2010 7:33 AM

    I was holding my breath. I think this is every woman’s nightmare. You wrote it perfectly.

    ~2

  16. June 20, 2010 9:25 AM

    Chilling story. Told so well in such limited words.

  17. June 20, 2010 11:50 AM

    “Thrashing in his arms her heels scrambled for purchase on the slick surface.” That really brought the scene home. Very scary. Thanks.

  18. June 20, 2010 12:18 PM

    A chilling tale… Car parks are spooky places.

  19. Rocio permalink
    June 20, 2010 4:02 PM

    How scary,things like this happen so fast. Well done.

  20. June 20, 2010 5:07 PM

    The small details at the very beginning were perfect: buzzing halogen lights, the quick snort to clear the fumy smells, “ballet of shadows on the oil-stained cement”… those put me in the garage right next to her. I think my heart started racing too!

    Well done.

  21. June 20, 2010 5:59 PM

    Thanks for all the wonderful comments. I apologize to all the women for increasing an already existing paranoia of parking garages. I blame the photo! Seriously, a huge thanks to the Sensational Sandy Morrison whose photo inspired the story and for allowing me to share it with you all.

  22. June 21, 2010 3:48 AM

    Wow that is amazing, creepy, scary and yes never parking in a garage. Excellent.

  23. Michelle permalink
    June 21, 2010 5:19 AM

    Parking garages always made me pay attention to everything and everyone around me. Creepy!

  24. Ian permalink
    June 21, 2010 8:06 AM

    Oh yeah. Nice and creepy. Love the words and the picture!

  25. June 21, 2010 4:41 PM

    I was thinking maybe it was her knife and he was gonna get it.
    Oh well.
    Ya see? That’s why I don’t do stilettos, they’re a dead giveaway in empty parking garages.

  26. June 22, 2010 5:13 AM

    Parking garages are mega creepy. Nice scene.

  27. June 23, 2010 3:22 AM

    A great job of showing her fear rather than just telling us about it! Nice writing.

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