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Shattered

July 15, 2010

Photo Prompt by Ian O’Neill

Shards fell to the floor as a spider web of cracks jumped through the remaining glass. Night air rushed in, cooling the sweat on her arms and neck. She stared at her fragmented reflection in the window, vaguely aware of the blood pulsing from her sliced hand. Chest heaving, heart pounding, so much rage dispelled so quickly; the unspent adrenaline leaving her light-headed.

Turning, she surveyed the damage, laughing at the thought of his reaction. His precious sanctuary now lay in ruin; every accolade ripped from the wall, every book thrown from the shelves, every smiling face torn to shreds, and now drops of crimson decorated the Berber in front of his shattered view.

Broken like her life, her spirit, her dreams; destroyed not with one night of rage, but by a lifetime of lies and manipulations. Made to feel guilty for her own suffering, she had begged forgiveness for his sins, and apologized for his transgressions.

Glass crunched as she dropped to her knees, too numb to feel the pain. Raising a shard to her wrist she sent her message in a clear line through her flesh.

Tonight it ends.

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29 Comments leave one →
  1. July 15, 2010 3:13 PM

    Powerful, intense piece. The emotion of it is almost operatic. That’s a compliment, by the way. 🙂

    Great story.

  2. July 15, 2010 3:33 PM

    Interesting that this sprung from that photo. I’d have seen a bug’s wing, tattered. Hopefully not another victim of her enraged fit. Hopefully, also, distracting enough to snap her out of her desire to end herself when it’s not her fault.

    (In the second paragraph: “His precious sanctuary now lie in ruin” – maybe “lay” in ruin?)

    • July 15, 2010 10:34 PM

      Thanks, John, for catching that. I hate that verb! 🙂

      And thanks to the awesome D.B. Reynolds for her catch too. Corrected!

  3. Ian permalink
    July 15, 2010 3:34 PM

    Nice imagery. Tied it all together with that one act. You’re so good at these I’m jealous. Keep them coming.

    Cheers,
    Ian

    • July 15, 2010 10:35 PM

      Thanks, Ian, and thank you, once again, for so graciously allowing me to photo stalk you. Cheers!

  4. July 15, 2010 6:35 PM

    wow i cant say it enough you are so great as i read it i saw everything

  5. Deanna Schrayer permalink
    July 16, 2010 12:59 AM

    You are an absolute master of the written word Danielle, period.

  6. July 16, 2010 1:16 AM

    Wow, powerful. I can feel the glass in my own knees. Very good.

  7. July 16, 2010 1:35 AM

    I like, “spider web of cracks.” I don’t know if this is a triumph for her or not, and I don’t think I’m supposed to know. A very powerful story.

  8. July 16, 2010 6:51 AM

    You guys are amazing. Thank you so much for the comments.

  9. July 16, 2010 11:20 AM

    That was very powerful and well done.

    -Tim

  10. July 16, 2010 12:46 PM

    Very powerful piece. Excellent story!

  11. Kelly permalink
    July 16, 2010 5:27 PM

    Very emotional and powerful piece Danni. Great stuff.

  12. July 16, 2010 5:29 PM

    I could see the room, the glass, and feel it as she fell. Such an enthralling piece of work. I didn’t expect that ending. I could feel it right in the pit of my stomach. Quite visual. Well written.

  13. July 16, 2010 6:36 PM

    Very nice, emotional, clean, poetic

  14. July 17, 2010 3:04 AM

    Oooh, this gave me the tingles. Beautifully written – I could see the whole scene right there in my head.

  15. July 17, 2010 7:30 AM

    I really like that picture…very cool! Nice job once again on the description! Great piece!

  16. July 17, 2010 7:57 AM

    Great descriptions – makes you visualise it so much better. Great piece

  17. July 17, 2010 8:18 AM

    Nice writing, Danielle! That first paragraph, starting in action, really sets up the scene and her frame of mind.

  18. July 17, 2010 8:24 AM

    Wow. You said so much in such a short piece. Tragic.
    ~2

  19. July 17, 2010 12:06 PM

    Great piece of short fiction, hope you take it further.

  20. July 17, 2010 8:58 PM

    Wow, very dark and emotional. Great story. Loved the imagery.

  21. Jax permalink
    July 18, 2010 12:50 PM

    I really love the way you write.

  22. July 21, 2010 11:48 AM

    DAMN! This is almost poetic… and so dark but yet so powerful and MEANINGFUL.

    Well done here.

    Jim
    http://tinyurl.com/2d7jz8v <— my #ff

  23. July 21, 2010 4:44 PM

    Very powerful. I especially liked this part – ” she had begged forgiveness for his sins, and apologized for his transgressions.” Nicely done.

  24. July 21, 2010 5:00 PM

    Thank you all for taking the time to read my story and for sharing your wonderful comments. It is truly appreciated.

  25. DianeG permalink
    July 22, 2010 4:38 PM

    A dark, dark story. You capture her despair very well.

    My only quibble would be the number of …ing words and that’s probably because I’ve been told some editors dislike them.

    Best

    Diane

  26. July 24, 2010 7:18 AM

    Wow! Powerful and gripping. Outstanding flash piece.

  27. Misty permalink
    November 18, 2010 12:37 PM

    Wow. Painful and awesome.

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