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Golden

December 9, 2010

All is quiet save for the slap of his heels on the smooth floors. A breeze caresses his bare skin. His eyes slip shut as he loses himself in the feel of the air whispering against his flesh; goosebumps spring to life, tingling across his body. He breathes deep, pulling the fresh air into his lungs. A shiver runs down his spine and he remembers where he was headed. His steps more hurried now. He doesn’t want to miss the show. Chest heaving, he scurries to the window and it’s there—the perfect golden sun shining across his kingdom, shimmering on rooftops, glistening off the cobblestones, bathing the world in gold.

Holding his breath, he squints down at his kingdom and smiles. It’s more beautiful, more perfect, than he could have ever dreamed. He stays until the last drops of sunlight fall behind the mountain. His chest feels heavy; the coming darkness presses in on him. Not a single light glows in a window. He is alone.

He swallows hard and pads back to his room. Silver moonlight splashes across his floor as he crawls onto his bed. His wife lies perfectly still beside him. He brushes a finger down her smooth cheek and whispers, “I love you and I’m sorry.”

He closes his eyes and prays again, the same as every night, for God to lift this golden curse—his Midas touch.

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30 Comments leave one →
  1. December 9, 2010 12:13 PM

    Excellent story! Yeah, the Midas touch certainly sounds good on the surface, but in practice, not a good thing. At least he’s still able to see the beauty in his gift/curse.

  2. December 9, 2010 12:19 PM

    That’s quite a picture. Great job. Yea, not really a practical skill.

  3. Deanna Schrayer permalink
    December 9, 2010 12:45 PM

    Oh, Lord bless his heart. Beatufiul descriptions here Dani!

  4. December 9, 2010 12:52 PM

    I didn’t see that one coming. 🙂 Beautiful descriptions, sis!

  5. December 9, 2010 2:15 PM

    That was one of the worst thing I have ever read ……. JK I was thinking will I ever hate or dislike any of your stories but it has not yet happened great storie I loved it

  6. December 9, 2010 3:33 PM

    Beautifully scripted, and what a surprising ending. I didn’t see it coming. Wonderful! 🙂

  7. CDNWMN permalink
    December 9, 2010 3:42 PM

    Loved the twist at the end, beauty! 🙂

  8. December 9, 2010 4:01 PM

    You always leave us with a nice twist at the end. Loved it.

  9. December 9, 2010 4:02 PM

    Wonderfully written! And a very powerful ending!

  10. December 9, 2010 4:32 PM

    I just hope he’s careful when he handles himself in the bathroom.

    Beautifully written, really lends a human side to a legend.

  11. December 9, 2010 4:57 PM

    What a painful burden: hurting the loved one just by touching him/her.

  12. December 9, 2010 5:30 PM

    Ah, just wonderful, Danielle. I didn’t see it coming, but what a fine payoff… so to speak.

    Love this story!

  13. December 9, 2010 6:24 PM

    Oh, that’s sad. Although I can’t help thinking of a commercial or TV show I saw once that’s on the edge of my mind where everything someone touched turned into… Fruit Loops? Candy? Something like that. Okay, now I’m totally off the point of the story, but if anyone knows what I’m talking about, I’d be happy!

  14. December 9, 2010 7:06 PM

    Point of view and descriptions make it real: another bonehead bites the dust. Well done, sis.

  15. December 9, 2010 9:29 PM

    This comes to voice very easily – I found myself reading it out loud. The first paragraph being the longest actually helps, by virtue of the pacing clicking. Maybe a sign of good flash fiction, I was sad that it was ending so quickly.

    Smiley face!

  16. December 10, 2010 1:40 AM

    Really beautifully described and a surprising twist at the end. Wonderful.

  17. December 10, 2010 3:33 AM

    Brilliant, when I finished it I had to read it again. A lot to think about.

  18. December 10, 2010 5:37 AM

    Wonderfully evocotive. Great piece of writing, very visual.

  19. December 10, 2010 6:07 AM

    The pacing in this is fantastic. It felt magical as it began. As he viewed the golden kingdom I felt myself being pulled into this world, only to be punched in the gut with the ending. Impressive!

  20. December 10, 2010 7:36 AM

    All that is gold does not glitter. This is a very melancholic tale and it certainly packs a punch. Torn between his love of the kingdom he has created and the horror of his power. Well done Danielle. Great flash.

  21. December 10, 2010 8:12 AM

    Thank you guys so much. Every week I’m overwhelmed by your support.

  22. December 10, 2010 4:55 PM

    Ouch. Such a gift clearly shows itself to be a curse.

    Beautifully done in such a short tale.

    Excellent.

  23. December 10, 2010 6:09 PM

    This allows for so many possibilities to explore how Midas feels. I didn’t think of the myth until the last sentence. Nice little surprise and some good descriptions. Cool.

  24. December 10, 2010 6:57 PM

    I love the way your writing dips into mythos. The blessing and bane of the Midas touch. beautiful. Peace…

  25. adampb permalink
    December 10, 2010 9:36 PM

    You have captured the agony and the ecstasy of the legend very well.
    Adam B @revhappiness

  26. December 10, 2010 10:14 PM

    Beautiful descriptions in this.

  27. December 11, 2010 7:13 PM

    Aww. And I love the snow on your page. =)

  28. December 11, 2010 8:19 PM

    Way to go! Hope you’re enjoying yourself. What a wonder you are, Ms. Danielle. Sucking us in like we’re on his side, running with him swiftly. Then despising him for his choices. It is great. You’re wonderful.
    (the snow is cool)

  29. December 12, 2010 5:37 PM

    As always, beautifully done. ❤

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