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January 27, 2011

Photo Prompt by Roka Walsh
They say you can never go home again and I never believed that to be true. Home was in my heart, in my blood, in my soul; no one could take that from me.

But as my tires crunched down the gravel path and the pines towered overhead my breath left me. Claustrophobia washed over me in a sickening wave, compressing my lungs, shocking my limbs. I slammed on the brake. A cloud of dust billowed in the rearview mirror. I rolled the window down and sucked in breath after breath, tasting the damp earth on my tongue, smelling the tang of pines. Smoke from a distant fire stung my nose.

Rather than bringing a rush of warmth and peace, anxiety coursed through my veins. My heart pumped double-time to match the flood of adrenaline.

You can’t make this right. This is no longer your home.

β€œI know,” I whispered as a tear trailed down my cheek.

* For more photo prompts by Roka Walsh visit the archives at Stories Without Words

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36 Comments leave one →
  1. January 27, 2011 1:08 PM

    That’s just sad. In a very good way.

  2. January 27, 2011 1:26 PM

    It makes me want to know what happened, what was so terrible they couldn’t go back.

  3. Livy Parker permalink
    January 27, 2011 1:41 PM

    Very gripping, well done:)

  4. January 27, 2011 2:19 PM

    An emotional piece and one that leaves the reader with a lot of questions.

  5. January 27, 2011 3:47 PM

    Wow I had to read it a couple of times but it was just incredible my heart raced as his did
    Great job
    Danni

  6. January 27, 2011 4:59 PM

    I wouldn’t want to go home either. It seems like she lives in Forks. πŸ™‚

    Well done, sis!

  7. January 27, 2011 5:14 PM

    It’s true you that “home” is a frozen slice of time that melts away for most as we grow older. You’ve captured this truth beautifully here.

  8. January 27, 2011 6:17 PM

    Beautiful. Sad, yes, but beautiful.

    Jim
    http://www.jimbronyaur.com

  9. January 27, 2011 6:55 PM

    Heh, been there. You nailed that panic attack feeling of “Run! Save yourself!”

    I still envy how you manage to pack an entire life or world or both into these tiny pieces. Excellent as always. πŸ™‚

  10. January 27, 2011 7:22 PM

    Brings up the idea of homes at different parts of our life, and how we remember each one in a particular time. I like that.

    D

  11. January 27, 2011 9:47 PM

    She’s pretty boned. You’re so darned concise with these. I envy you.

    Envious face!

  12. January 28, 2011 4:07 AM

    Yeah, I know how this feels…you think home is where the heart is, but you go back, and you want to go elsewhere. 😦

    Perfect.

  13. January 28, 2011 7:44 AM

    Very nice, so much emotion is so short a space, but I want more. No fair, no fair!

  14. January 28, 2011 8:43 AM

    Yes, so much conveyed by so little, enjoyed this. Goes to show that sometimes not all those 1000 words are needed.

  15. alisonwells permalink
    January 28, 2011 9:07 AM

    Well written, lovely phrases.

  16. January 28, 2011 11:09 AM

    Aaron, Laura, Annie, Gareth, John, Jim, Icy, Jason, Emma, and Alison – Thank you all for taking the time to read and comment this week. You guys are awesome.

  17. January 28, 2011 12:07 PM

    effectively captured moment…begs many questions, like what happened there?

  18. January 28, 2011 2:28 PM

    Beautiful and tragic how a place of love can turn into the place you most fear to tread.

  19. Michael A Tate permalink
    January 28, 2011 3:00 PM

    A nice little snapshot. I think I was a little distracted the first time I read it, but the second time I think I figured out what was going on. I like reading these little snapshot flash fiction pieces, and I liked yours.

  20. adampb permalink
    January 28, 2011 7:03 PM

    Brevity and conviction – great piece, Danni.

  21. laradunning permalink
    January 28, 2011 7:18 PM

    Great sense of emotion and character on a subject that touches all of us.

  22. January 28, 2011 9:14 PM

    Oh cool. Thanks for sharing.

    Julie/Firewolf

  23. January 29, 2011 5:23 AM

    I really like this one…well done!

  24. January 29, 2011 7:48 AM

    Home is so complex, ying and yang of life. Gorgeously written. Peace…

  25. January 30, 2011 7:10 AM

    You absolutely nailed the feeling. I was there for a moment. Very intense.

  26. January 30, 2011 11:12 AM

    Excellent story! So much left unsaid–why is home no longer an option? Great descriptions throughout.

  27. January 30, 2011 1:55 PM

    “…You can’t make this right. This is no longer your home…”

    Everything up to that could be dismissed as the difficulty we all can feel when going back…wherever “back” really is. A sort of don’t-fit…like old, shed snakeskin.

    And that line just deepens everything.

    Excellently done. A perfect flash.

  28. January 30, 2011 2:26 PM

    Hm. I had a bunch of ideas about what the specific situation was, and then threw them all away. Did you have one in mind?

  29. January 30, 2011 8:59 PM

    So many are asking what she did – David, Eric, Jessica – I like leaving it up to the reader. Sometimes what may keep me from going home is very different from what would keep you away. I like to let the reader envision their own motivation. I find that it brings out stronger emotions in them than when I tell too much.

    Sel, Michael, Adam, Lara, Julie, Angela, Linda, Anneke – thank you all for stopping by and commenting.

  30. cdnwmn permalink
    January 31, 2011 4:57 PM

    Lovely, simply lovely. πŸ™‚

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