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Waiting

April 21, 2011

I’m stepping away from my A Time for Everything series to bring you a special request. My good friend and cyber-sister (and maker of all of my awesome banners), Misty Carey, asked if I would write a story for the photo below. I rarely post creative non-fiction, but I hope you enjoy it all the same.

Photo by Owl Sister’s Photography
Photo Editing by Misty Carey

Five days and four nights. It was never enough. She felt him slipping away even as she pulled him tighter. Tucking her head against his shoulder, she breathed him in. His essence seemed to swirl inside her, filling in the gaps and scars created by others, making her whole if only for a moment. Her heart ached with each exhale, mourning the temporary loss of him.

Fingertips brushed the line of her cheek. She lifted her head and bathed in the soft glow of his crystal blue eyes.

“I love you,” he whispered.

Her chest tightened. Tears filled her eyes. She clutched the words, holding the sound in her mind, willing it to ring in her ears forever. He’d told her a thousand times, but to hear them face-to-face was a rare and precious treasure.

“It’s time,” he said.

She’d eagerly counted the days until his arrival and now she desperately clung to the last moments, wrapping her fists in his shirt, pressing his body to hers.

Soft lips kissed away her tears.

“I’ll be back.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

Always waiting.

* * *

I wrote a second story for this lovely couple which you can read here: Finally

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41 Comments leave one →
  1. April 21, 2011 12:04 PM

    Awesome, as always, Danni! You paint big pictures with so few words.

  2. April 21, 2011 12:21 PM

    Thank you, Danni. I cried the first time, and I cried again. You captured my feeling perfectly.

    Countdown is 6 days… 🙂

  3. Dana McEntee permalink
    April 21, 2011 1:05 PM

    I love it! Danielle, you have a way in capturing a moment. I think you did this (beyond) justice.

  4. April 21, 2011 1:19 PM

    There’s not much more to say other than powerful.

  5. April 21, 2011 1:37 PM

    I loved it. Its a special feeling and one remembered. The time spent together, the waiting, counting the days until separation. You captured it so well that I felt it reading Misty’s story. Nicely done! Glad you could bring some warmth to her painful week. 🙂

    • April 22, 2011 6:58 AM

      The story has been on the calendar for awhile now, but the timing worked out well.

  6. April 21, 2011 2:06 PM

    This is a great piece Danni! It’s a fabulous picture to start with and I think you really captured the moment well.

  7. April 21, 2011 3:37 PM

    Great job Danni, I don’t know the people or situation, but I feel like I do now. Well done.

  8. April 21, 2011 3:43 PM

    Wow, what a personal moment. I feel like a voyeur…

  9. April 21, 2011 5:47 PM

    I’m with FAR. *looks the other way*

    Nice story tho!

  10. Jeff permalink
    April 21, 2011 6:09 PM

    I agree, Misty. She captured the feelings perfectly, and even managed to get me misty-eyed (no pun intended) on this read through. There’s a lot of emotion packed in a very small number of words. An excellent short.

    • April 21, 2011 6:49 PM

      Thank you, Jeff. I’m glad you approve. Sorry to get you misty-eyed, but I guess that means I did my job. 🙂 6 more days!

  11. adampb permalink
    April 21, 2011 7:06 PM

    A beautifully crafted piece, Danni. Very precious.
    Adam B @revhappiness

  12. Jamie Ayres permalink
    April 21, 2011 7:13 PM

    Love the story behind the picture . . . you definately have a way with words:):):)

  13. April 21, 2011 7:21 PM

    A beautiful picture painted with words of a love affair. Very nice!

  14. April 21, 2011 7:47 PM

    Wonderful little scene. You definitely have a way with words that make a lot of writers blush. Some very beautiful lines in there.

  15. April 21, 2011 9:35 PM

    I’ll admit I was confused by the two natures of the prompt description – to be based on a photo, but also to be non-fiction. I feel like either it would have to be fiction (even if adopting real people into its mix) or there’s an intimacy of detail that I can’t approach since I lack the real life frame of reference. It is a haunting tiny tale and since it is so sparse on internal context I can’t tell whether the moment is real or your projection onto a photo. If it is real, I wish that couple (and perhaps Misty) the best.

    #strugglingforcoherenceat12:30face

    • April 22, 2011 3:38 AM

      It’s real. The photo is us. Danni knows how hard this long distance relationship is for us since I always go to her. She saw the picture and wrote what she knows I feel.

  16. laradunning permalink
    April 21, 2011 11:17 PM

    The photo is so fitting and your words captivate that feeling, that need for love to linger so well.

  17. April 22, 2011 3:58 AM

    Very powerful for such a few words, there is so much emotion and feeling passed to the reader.

    And Misty, I hope the 6 days pass like an eyeblink, and the ‘together’ time seems like forever. 🙂

  18. Carlos permalink
    April 22, 2011 5:05 AM

    I’m glad Misty and Jeff get to experience a little of what I experience from your letters to me. You captured their moment perfectly, the sadness, the joy, the longing, the waiting! Very well done Corazón!

  19. April 22, 2011 8:56 AM

    filling in the gaps and scars created by others

    I LOVE this. Beautiful job, as always.

  20. April 22, 2011 8:57 AM

    Oh, I SO know this kind of hearbreak. I had a long-distance relationship with my (now) husband for years. You captured it perfectly. SO much, that I have to go give him a kiss now. Thanks. 🙂

  21. April 22, 2011 9:00 AM

    Beautiful, sweet, touching, lovely… ah, that exquisite torture of waiting. Gorgeous piece for a gorgeous photo.

  22. April 22, 2011 11:51 AM

    Oh waiting and separation, how I loathe thee. Poignant

  23. April 22, 2011 4:44 PM

    “holding the sound in her mind, willing it to ring in her ears forever” sigh, pure bliss. You’re writing is absolute bliss. And knowing it’s about such a wonderful, and TRUE passion…makes it all the better. It curled my toes.

    Misty, I’m so glad you shared your story and the wonderful picture with us. 🙂

  24. April 23, 2011 5:58 AM

    I can empathise with this one. Wonderful work, as ever.

  25. April 23, 2011 6:56 AM

    I had to drop by a leave a comment here – you know I always enjoy your flash fiction, but this one…this one really struck a chord.

    Great piece.

  26. April 23, 2011 10:09 AM

    A big thanks to Misty and Jeff for letting me share their story this week. And thank you to everyone for stopping by and commenting.

  27. Deanna Schrayer permalink
    April 23, 2011 6:21 PM

    Beautifully written Dani! Thanks so much for sharing this tenderness with us.

  28. April 23, 2011 6:42 PM

    Thank you again Danni for taking my story and making it so awesome in such a short read.

    Thank you all for the kind comments on our long distance relationship. 4 days to go… 🙂

  29. April 24, 2011 11:23 AM

    Simply a beautiful moment. Thanks to you both; for the photo and the scene.

  30. PJ Kaiser permalink
    April 24, 2011 5:08 PM

    Nice piece, danni – I had a long-distance relationship in college and you did a good job of capturing the emotion. Misty – sending u long-distance hugs!

  31. April 25, 2011 8:55 AM

    Beautiful piece – brought to mind someone I left behind – the few times I see him are just minutes but I hold them in my heart for months sometimes.

    Just lovely – thanks so much for sharing Misty and Danni.

  32. April 26, 2011 3:56 AM

    Beautifully done. To pack so much emotion into so few words is masterful.

  33. Michelle Muto permalink
    April 28, 2011 8:04 AM

    Excellent photo for the piece. In fact, excellent photo. Misty is exceptionally talented – as are you.

  34. Annamarie Davis permalink
    August 24, 2011 1:02 AM

    Beautifully written, perfectly captured! Brought a catch in my heart in reading- well done! Yours gets my VOTE!

  35. April 26, 2012 4:57 PM

    Beautiful. waiting sucks

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