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May 27, 2011

Click here to see the photo prompt for this story.

She lifted her face to the breeze as the fog rolled in off the ocean. Welcoming the blanket of solitude it wrapped around her shoulders, blocking out the rest of the world.

Breathing in the heavy air a stab of panic darted through her. The moisture suffocating her. She struggled to breathe.

“But this is what you wanted,” it whispered. “No one dragging you down, holding you back. No one asking where you’ve been or when you’ll be back. You wanted to be free.”

The thick air crept closer, surrounding her. Blinding her vision, muffling any sounds. The moisture swirled until she was lost in a sea of nothing.

She was finally alone.

Just like she always wanted.

A version of this story was originally posted on Roka Walsh’s blog, Stories Without Words.

21 Comments leave one →
  1. May 27, 2011 9:07 AM

    I guess being lost at sea is some people’s Heaven. No whining kids, no ringing phones. Gilligan’s Island looked fun.


  2. May 27, 2011 11:25 AM

    I think some already said, “Careful what you wish for.”


    And creepy. Well done.

  3. ibc4 permalink
    May 27, 2011 11:43 AM

    To give the fog and the sensation of being cut-off a voice. Touching. Loved it.

  4. May 27, 2011 12:55 PM

    I don’t think anyone wants that feeling for good, but it still sounds good a little at a time to me. 🙂
    (2nd para – 2 sentences in a row end with ‘Her’ it just clangs a little)

    Nice visual Danni!

  5. May 27, 2011 1:18 PM

    I’ve occasionally wanted to be on my own, and then I am, and I hate it, so I can relate to this a little too well. Beautifully written, as always.

  6. May 27, 2011 1:24 PM

    This would be a great piece to introduce the distinctions between solitude, isolation and loneliness. Nice work.

  7. May 27, 2011 1:43 PM

    I don’t know how you manage to get so much into so little. Cracking stuff again, Danni.

  8. May 27, 2011 2:49 PM

    Ugh. Made me claustrophobic. This one had some texture. Nice job.

  9. May 27, 2011 5:52 PM

    Always pays to be careful what you wish for, doesn’t it? Good work!

  10. May 27, 2011 7:05 PM

    Wonderful response to the pic — very evocative. I always crave solitude and then, when I get it, all I want is to be back in my noisy existence. Peace…

  11. May 27, 2011 7:37 PM

    I at times like solitude, this piece beautifully describes that feeling and yet when we have it we crave for company……

  12. May 27, 2011 11:38 PM

    A “careful what you wish for” scenario. Very nicely realized story from that prompt. Really well done.

  13. May 28, 2011 10:13 AM

    Love the fog imagery! Well done!

  14. May 28, 2011 10:27 AM

    Ooh, creepy and atmospheric. In some ways, it reminded me of certain happenings in Rachel Caine’s Weather Wardens series.

    I loved the photo prompt to start as well, so I think I may have to see what other writers came up with!

  15. May 29, 2011 4:53 AM

    The suffocating sense took hold of me reading this, since I am claustrophobic. But I still want to be alone 😉

  16. May 29, 2011 9:04 AM

    Our ideal dreams don’t always pan out the way we think they will, do they? Excellent story!

  17. May 29, 2011 10:03 AM

    As someone who needs a certain amount of “alone time” I could definitely relate to this one, Danni. I also liked the personalization of the fog. Great job!

  18. laradunning permalink
    May 29, 2011 10:12 AM

    The despair in this piece is brilliant. Thoughts conveyed and the soul left to be devoured by the sea.

  19. May 29, 2011 10:46 AM

    Thanks everyone! I appreciate you all taking time to leave comments.

  20. adampb permalink
    May 31, 2011 12:51 AM

    There is such a fine line between isolation and being alone. Lovely, evocative piece.
    Adam B @revhappiness

  21. June 2, 2011 4:50 PM

    Liked, not loved, but liked. You are your own tough act to follow sometimes. 😉

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