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June 9, 2011

It lingers in the corners, festering in the wounds of a childhood she’s tried to forget. It creeps through the caverns of her broken heart, mending the pieces in a patchwork of malice and rage, forging a barrier around her heart; a fortress too high, too thick, too long to see beyond.

Protecting. Imprisoning.

The black fog spreads through the courtyard, the castle, the chambers.

Blocking. Blinding.

Creating the illusion of power and invulnerability. She clings to the falsehood, spewing her venom, striking down any who dare cross her path.

But a lone arrow, dipped in the poison of truth, sails beyond the wall, slicing through the darkness, piercing the very wound of its birth.

A wail shatters the silence as the walls collapse in a torrent of memories, crushing her in an avalanche of rage and guilt and fear.

And still it lingers, sifting through the rubble, waiting for the next broken heart.

31 Comments leave one →
  1. June 9, 2011 1:41 PM

    You seem to be able to anthropomorphize just about anything. It really is amazing. Excellent work, felt like a movie.

  2. June 9, 2011 1:42 PM

    Very – very – excellent. worryingly good imagery

  3. Missylynn permalink
    June 9, 2011 2:04 PM

    I can relate to this. I am not as darkened by my fear and heartbreak as she is, however, I have been where she is as a child and in young adulthood. I have just now over the years, learned how to let the light shine in and save my soul from a lifetime of lonliness. Thank you for share this Danni

  4. June 9, 2011 2:26 PM

    I love your Hate, you’ve empowered an emotion often minimized into a few words. Good job:)

  5. June 9, 2011 2:36 PM

    Fantastic as always. 🙂

  6. June 9, 2011 3:27 PM

    A brilliant piece. Well described and the emotions run high as hate overwhelms and engulfs her. Its truly remarkable to read your work. Loved it! 🙂

  7. Angbuf permalink
    June 9, 2011 3:39 PM

    Nicely done, Danni!

  8. June 9, 2011 3:48 PM

    ‘piercing the very wound of its birth’ great line, great writing. 🙂

  9. June 9, 2011 4:15 PM

    Superbly apt imagery. Black fog… I love it.

  10. June 9, 2011 6:33 PM

    This is exactly how I imagine the people who think the Windows 7 Phone will topple Apple. Good job!


  11. June 9, 2011 7:04 PM

    Like everyone here said, the imagery is really good. Very vivid. I like how depicted hate, like a predator.

    @John Wisell – LOL And I think android will do it before windows 7 can.

  12. June 9, 2011 10:04 PM

    Yea, I could really feel the hate bubbling up through these words. Danni, you really have a good grasp on how to capture a raw feeling. I always love your work.

  13. June 9, 2011 11:42 PM

    Your words have made hate seem beautiful. So poetic and captivating the core of it.

  14. June 10, 2011 3:19 AM

    You captured that feeling that lingers, and cripples one from the inside out, and yet far from dark this was a captivating piece.

  15. June 10, 2011 3:42 AM

    I wish I could say I don’t resonate with this piece, but I do. Big time. You manage to take an ugly emo and make it beautiful through your words. Powerful stuff, as always. peace…

  16. June 10, 2011 8:05 AM

    Thank you all for your amazing comments. I had no idea this would resonate with so many people. I woke from a dream about a black fog swirling in the corner of a room and this is the story that came from that.

  17. FARfetched permalink
    June 10, 2011 8:08 AM

    I always love your visceral pieces, how they reach in and illuminate the dark corners of our own lives…

  18. Dana McEntee permalink
    June 10, 2011 8:27 AM

    Intense! Took me through that journey of hate!!!

  19. henriettamaddox permalink
    June 10, 2011 9:17 AM

    Wow. Excellent. This was inspirational and so easy to imagine – thanks to your descriptions – like an animated piece of art.

    My favourite bit is, “mending the pieces in a patchwork of malice and rage,”. As she is making her own destructive destiny.

  20. June 10, 2011 9:59 AM

    A strong piece.

  21. June 10, 2011 10:09 AM

    How do you do it? Not a word wasted, each one counts. It is beautiful writing. I liked the arrow dipped in the poison of truth. Thanks.

  22. June 10, 2011 10:34 AM

    Awesome! I can really relate to this- well done!

  23. June 10, 2011 11:34 AM

    Fabulous imagery. I love this part “a lone arrow, dipped in the poison of truth” Nicely done.

  24. steve mchugh permalink
    June 10, 2011 11:36 AM

    That was excellent! Loved the last line

  25. June 10, 2011 5:11 PM

    I’m with FAR here, this piece is very visceral. Another great one, Danni! What a dream it must have been to evoke such deep emotions.

    One little comment, I felt that this sentence was a little loose in the story, although it fits perfectly in the context: Creating the illusion of power and invulnerability. Maybe that’s because you’re missing the subject here? I’m thinking a solution would attach it to the next one. Just a thought. 🙂

  26. June 10, 2011 6:45 PM

    So much imagery in so few words. This is delicious. Well done! 🙂

  27. June 10, 2011 10:30 PM

    Not really much I can say that others haven’t already said. Great job, as always, Danni!

  28. adampb permalink
    June 12, 2011 1:39 AM

    I took some time to reread this a few times, just to let the imagery sink in. Lovely craftsmanship and superb imagery.
    Adam B @revhappiness

  29. June 12, 2011 9:25 AM

    If you keep hatred locked up for too long, sooner or later it will collapse in on itself. You captured that beautifully.

  30. June 13, 2011 6:15 AM

    You’ve given dimensionality to a word, fully realized the concept, and made beautiful something so horrific as hate.

  31. June 16, 2011 6:00 AM

    I enjoyed your diction. The mentioning of castles and darkness made me think of Gothic horror. Such deep emotions in such short piece.

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