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December 8, 2011

One day I’ll breathe without the scent of your cologne lingering on the back of my tongue.

One day I’ll breathe and my lungs will be full for the first time in years.

One day I’ll breathe without the weight of years of pain and heartache and worry sitting so heavy on my chest my lungs can’t be filled.

One day I’ll breathe and remember the salty ocean air coating my throat as the waves wash away the memories of you.

One day I’ll breathe and the air won’t be thick and bitter with the taste of false promises and broken dreams.

One day I’ll breathe and taste damp pines on my tongue and feel free as the birds singing in the clear blue skies.

One day I’ll breathe and forget every lie, every smirk, every touch I never asked for.

One day I’ll breathe in the scent of newly turned earth and freshly clipped grass and too many roses.

One day I’ll breathe and your memory won’t be sitting like the shadow of death on my shoulder.

One day I’ll breathe and you’ll be gone.

And then I’ll breathe.

28 Comments leave one →
  1. December 8, 2011 2:19 PM

    This is lovely. Sounds like you are going to take in the world x

  2. December 8, 2011 3:00 PM

    PERFECT – I loved how you slowly brought us to the twist. Well done ♥

  3. December 8, 2011 3:36 PM

    Very subtle Danni, done with a light touch …

  4. December 8, 2011 4:58 PM

    This was very evocative of that bitter sweet feeling – the pain of a relationship gone wrong, very nicely done!

  5. adampb permalink
    December 8, 2011 5:07 PM

    Lovely sense of rhythm to this, Danni.
    Adam B @revhappiness

  6. December 8, 2011 5:34 PM

    Lovely poem! Really evokes a bad relationship

  7. December 8, 2011 5:44 PM

    A very harsh reality but written with all the prose of a very tender poem. I like this new style. It’s not your usual flash, but it’s very thought provoking and emotional.

  8. December 8, 2011 6:06 PM

    My first impression was someone trying to get past the pain of losing someone. All the lingering memories. Boy, was I wrong. Beautifully done as always, sis. 🙂

  9. December 8, 2011 7:10 PM

    Potent stuff!

  10. December 8, 2011 8:52 PM

    I felt like maybe I should just ‘X’ out and not leave a comment. You know, and be gone like you wanted so badly. I’d hate to prevent you breathing. As an asthmatic, it’s not something I wish on people.

    The first two lines are precisely potent, as Larry said. They evoke a great deal, and that opener is probably the best line in the whole piece for how the words unfold both literal and implied historical meaning for the piece.

    • December 8, 2011 10:01 PM

      The first half of this cracked me up and the second half really means a lot. Thanks for commenting, John.

  11. Ian O'Neill permalink
    December 8, 2011 9:06 PM

    Wow. There is some serious emotion in this piece. It got very difficult to read since you conveyed the heaviness so well. I didn’t realize until the end that I was holding my breath. This is very good writing. Thanks for sharing.

    • December 8, 2011 10:01 PM

      “I didn’t realize until the end that I was holding my breath.” That’s the greatest compliment I can imagine. Thank you so much, Ian.

  12. December 8, 2011 10:48 PM

    Nicely written and you can feel the experience of someone who’s gone through it. It works on a lot of levels and I think will strike a chord with every reader. (Obviously with the odd change such as Perfume for Cologne. LOL) Cracking piece as usual D.

  13. December 9, 2011 2:53 AM

    Each breath carries so much weight. Nice.

  14. December 9, 2011 8:33 AM

    Beautifully poetic, Danni.

  15. December 9, 2011 10:00 AM

    This is rather wonderful. Beautiful and full of meaning; also tightly written.

  16. December 9, 2011 10:11 AM

    Such a powerful piece, Danni. Beautiful.

  17. December 9, 2011 10:31 AM

    Nice work little lady.

  18. December 9, 2011 1:49 PM

    You wove a lot of bitterness and emotion into this little piece. Thanks for sharing it with us all.

  19. December 9, 2011 7:36 PM

    The emotion really builds in this flash, reading like a poem, evocative and beautiful.

  20. December 10, 2011 9:12 AM

    Great poetry, and what’s brilliant about it is that even reading it silently leaves you breathless. I was reminded of Allen Ginsberg’s poem Howl, in the way you use repetition to emphasise the relentless accumulation of rage and despair. Excellent!

  21. December 10, 2011 12:18 PM

    This is my new favourite! Really powerful stuff! You are so good, Danni…so very, very good 😉

  22. December 10, 2011 3:43 PM

    Thanks to everyone for commenting this week. I can’t tell you all enough how much I appreciate you taking the time to leave a word. It’s been awhile (too long) since I posted a flash and this isn’t my usual style. Thanks for sharing my words.

  23. December 11, 2011 8:50 AM

    Beautifully written, as always.

  24. December 11, 2011 12:53 PM

    I love your writing style here. Like bittersweet poetry.

  25. December 12, 2011 3:00 PM

    Oh very well done. I can’t believe i missed this! Gah xmas is really screwing with me. I love that your pieces leave something for everyone. “every touch I never asked for”, just one of those ‘wow’ moments for me.

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